


Lost Forever

by gretani



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 16:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7940614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gretani/pseuds/gretani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi was never one to dwell on the deaths of hundreds of Scout Regiment members who died outside the walls during past excursions. Yet, this last expedition brought him a realization that however he tried to denied it, he can no longer tell Petra how he felt about her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lost Forever

Broken...confused...wounded...defeated...

As much as Levi hated these words, they basically described his current situation.

Following the failed 57th Expedition, Erwin and the other top brasses were to be summoned to the Capital for interrogation. With that comes the question of Eren Yeager's custody.

Levi sat in silence in his room as Hange tended to his sprained ankle. Grimacing, he thought about what Petra Ral's father had told him earlier 'before his daughter sees him'. He revealed to the Captain that Petra had wanted to devote herself to Levi, and that he, as her father, thought that the talk about marriage was still to early.

Sadly, there will be no marriage to talk about, no courtships to be done, nothing. Because Petra Ral, one of the members of Levi's Special Operations Squad, died along with the other members.

Levi remembered the look on Mr. Ral's face upon seeing Levi's own horrified amd empty look. Words need not be said; his facial expressions gave himself away. Mr. Ral's tears slowly fell from his face upon learning the hard but unspoken truth. Petra will never return to him...to the Scouts...to Levi.

"Now, Levi, you get some rest. Erwin specifically told me you are to call it sick and not go on duty until your foot is healed," Hange said as she rolled up the remaing bandages in her medicine kit. She looked at Levi one last time.

The door closed as Hange left. And tears started to fall from Levi's eyes.

_It was never an easy task to hold up his emotions every single time a friend or a colleague dies in battle. Levi learned it the hard way when his friends Farlan and Isabella succumbed to the attacks of the Titans on their very first expedition. No words of goodbye, regret, and asking for forgivenesses can bring his friends back to life._

_And almost, always, someone goes missing in action or end up dying. Levi feared this every time they go out. And when they return back to the city, only taunts and jeers receive them. The expeditions always ended up a failure._

_In spite of it all, for Levi, Petra had been his source of inspiration. He recognized her skills, thus taking her in as a member of his squad.  Nevertheless, Levi was slowly drawn to her, no matter how much he was so mum about it. No one, not even Erwin, knew about his infatuation for the girl. He knew that Petra and Olou would always banter, causing either Eld or Gunther to scold them. But Levi only looked at Petra from afar. He didn't want to give her the wrong impression, nor did he want Petra to lose track of her true purpose as a member of the Scout Regiment. Levi thought it was wise not to evoke feelings of love towards a colleague. No one can predict who would die next, and Levi hated having to deal with the heartache._

_But how cruel fate turned out for him: the Female Titan massacred his squad. And Eren, who was in his Titan form, lost to his Nemesis._

_While Levi hovered over to mourn for his fallen comrades, he stayed a little longer on Petra's corpse, waiting for the search and rescue team to recover her. An amalgamation of feelings stirred inside his chest: anger for the Female Titan, frustration over the failed expedition, and an unutterable sadness of the loss of the girl who truly had captured his heart. Petra Ral was no more._

_Mikasa, who happen to see Eren being taken away by the Femal Titan, sought to kill her herself, vowing to avenge the countless soldiers whom the beast killed. But Levi intervened, so that Mikasa distracted the Titan, and he sliced Her up._

_Retrieving Eren was probably not the last Levi would do for Mikasa. The Captain would do it over and over again, but he could never bring his loved one back. So when the Scouts brought the corpses to haul them back to the city, Levi sought for Petra's. Kneeling over her corpse, Levi removed the patch on her breast pocket. If he could have one thing about her he can take back with him, it was her undying loyalty to the Scouts, as evidenced by her wearing the Scout Uniform, even in death._

_But foolishness always betray some people. As Dieter and a colleague decided to retrieve Ivan's corpse back, two Titans followed in suit. Having no choice left, Levi suggested for the corpses on the carts to be discarded, making the travel faster, and making the dead as baits, that deed supposedly their last task serving the expedition. Corpses flew, and when Levi turned to look, out flew Petra's corpse, one of the sacrifices for the Titans. She will never be recovered, and that was the last Levi saw of her._

_Painful as it was, Levi didn't want to jeopardize his crew._

_He approached Dieter later, telling him that Ivan's contribution will never be forgotten. But the ache in Levi's chest tightened. Handing to Dieter Petra's Wings of Freedom Patch, the Captain told his soldier that that belonged to Ivan. But of course, Levi knew the truth: Ivan's corpse was near the Titans upon the retrieval operations, and there was no way someone could have  removed his patch. But Levi, selfless as he was, gave away the last reminder he had of Petra. With no physical memento to hold on to, all he had were memories of her and the surprise revelation upon his sad return._

Petra Ral had been in love with Levi Ackerman. But she can no longer express it. Nor could Levi tell Petra how he felt about her. 

"Erwin lost his girl to another man. I lost mine to death from a Titan. How cruel fate had been for me," Levi bitterly said as he continued nursing his sprained leg.


End file.
